For so many years, I identified myself as a wife, as a mother. Now with a divorce…..on a weekend without my children….who am I?
All women are guilty of defining ourselves by our roles – and there is merit to this. But…..what happens when we no longer have that role that we define ourselves by. Who are we now?
I think for me, that was possibly the most difficult yet ultimately most growth inspiring period of my newly thrust upon title of divorcee. I recall waking up on a Saturday morning – with no husband or children besides me….and wondering what I would do with my time. The irony is, when I had both husband and children, I longed for space, for time – to be me and to do the things that I wanted to do. Now…..alone…..I was lost.
I was so scared to be alone with myself that I quickly found things to fill the time and luckily, through this, I slowly began to find myself again. I started reading again, I went to a NIA class (watch this space for a stand-alone article on the soul benefits of NIA), I began socialising with like-minded people.
Divorce can be so tough, esteem-beating, debilitating and soul-destroying. There were many times when I cried inconsolably or raged constantly – please know that this is normal and part of the process. But…..when I eventually found myself again and started engaging in activities that I found I enjoyed….the healing began.