Leaving one’s husband for another man makes a divorce so much more traumatic and complicated although of course, any divorce is extremely difficult. The guilt of breaking up the family lasts many years. I had left my marriage emotionally many years before I physically left. My ex husband was reeling in shock when I left – he had never listened when I tried to tell him I was unhappy and he still believed we were a happy couple. His shock then turned to anger. This was an exceptionally difficult phase of our divorce, which lasted around two years. He was so angry and he battled to process his anger. For many months, he did not pay adequate maintenance – my children and I shared a double bed in my parents’ house for many months. I was so aware (and even understanding) of his anger, but I wished he would have realised that by depriving me, he was depriving his own children.
Eventually, when I left the man that I left my husband for, things began to settle. We had both behaved badly in different ways and managed to get past that. Finally, my ex husband and I could relate as parents of our children. Thankfully, today, we have both moved on and have become friends.
This has led to a much more pleasant situation for all, but especially for the kids. I am forever thankful that my kids are happy and well adjusted, which is why I urge any person going through it to remember that at the end of it all, the children are the ones who should be protected as much as possible from whatever is going on with their parents