There is nothing like divorce to bring your money issues into full focus. Fighting over maintenance, a tug of war over who is responsible for paying for what or not. Not to mention the sleepless nights pondering whether you will have enough to take care of yourself and your kids and the tough decisions you need to make about what you are going to have to give up or do without. The money struggle is very real.
9 years post divorce, my desire to break out of the trap and free myself from the power my ex had over me, wielding money as his weapon, took me on my own personal money journey.
I decided to learn about it, what it is, how it works, how to attract it, retain it, maintain it, manage it and grow it in order to break out of the cycle of dependency and powerlessness. It felt important to build my capabilities, earn enough money to take care of myself and my kids, stand on my own two feet and make independent decisions and choices. I don’t pretend to have it all figured out and I am not a multi millionaire yet and I may never be, but I am okay with that. I continue to hit roadblocks and obstacles every so often. But every day I take little steps towards freeing myself and creating a better, easier and more abundant life for myself and my kids.
Do you know the biggest lesson I learnt on my journey? It’s that money actually has very little to do with rands and cents. Money is merely a mirror. It reflects back to me how exactly how I think, relate and engage with the world around me and with life itself. The money story I tell reveals exactly what I believe, feel and experience. So what I am saying is the truth about money is that money and I are not separate, “I am money and money is me.” I never said the truth would be easy to swallow.
If you really want a glimpse into who you are, take a closer look and your money will show you. Money reflects your personal power, how worthy and deserving you feel and it is an insightful teacher that guides you to take full responsibility for your emotional and financial state at any point in time – if you are willing to learn. It can reveal to you what action you need to take to create and experience a different reality if you are willing to listen. It can show you when and where to clarify intentions, re-align attention, efforts and energy – if you really want to know.
The truth is the way you think about money will either bring it closer or repel it and the more you chase it the faster it runs away. Money mirrors back to you your most deeply held attitudes, values and belief systems. How do you see your money? Is it a means to an end? The root of all evil? Is it something you always want but never have enough of? Does it burn a hole in your pocket? Does it not grow on trees or is it something you have to fight for or fight about? Are you working hard for it or is it working hard for you? Does making it require blood, sweat, tears, struggle and sacrifice? Beliefs are unconsciously wired thought patterns that we don’t even know we don’t know about. They are the forgotten seeds planted by our parents, teachers and role models when we were younger without them knowing they were doing it.
By becoming aware of the deeply held beliefs that keep you small, i.e., I am not worthy, I can’t have what I want, I am not strong enough, or capable or intelligent enough and your preconceived notions about money itself i.e money is scarce, requires struggle or sacrifice, is bad or evil and corrupts, you can dissolve them or let them go, effortlessly shifting yourself out of stuckness and inviting in flow, peace of mind, ease and abundance.
Oh yes. Divorce will trigger your deepest money fears and control patterns. So, if you are not willing to do some work around your relationship with money and make some important changes in your attitudes and thinking, the bad news is that you can stay stuck in the struggle for years. If however, you refuse to be a victim of circumstance, subject to someone else’s actions and decisions and are willing to change your mind, your divorce might just be a significant opportunity to profoundly shift your relationship with money and put you on the path to true empowerment and financial freedom.
If you would like more information, are interested in attending our I-nspire Money Flow Workshop on 7th October 2017 or would like to book a personal coaching session, please e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org or contact me on 0827781818.