Life happens to us. Often there are situations outside of our control. Sometimes we are the “victims” of decisions that have been made for us. Even when we feel that we have “no choice”, we can still choose how we respond to situation. Looking back, I have realised that there are so many gifts that have been given to me as a result of my divorce. I can honestly say that if not for my divorce, I would not be the woman that I am today. From my divorce, I received the following gifts:
- I am a strong confident woman with self-belief and determination – during my marriage, I often depended on my husband for so many things that I am now capable of doing myself. Around the time of my divorce, I lacked confidence and did not really know how I would move through my situation and create a good life for myself. Today, I see what I have achieved and I am so proud of myself. I have visited that dark place, the place that we call the bottom…..and I have emerged. I know that I am equipped to deal with any situation.
- I learned to ask for help – prior to my divorce, I believed I was superwoman. I never asked for help and I saw asking for assistance as a sign of weakness. Today, I know what I am capable of. I also know that I don’t have to “go it alone”. I have become a great delegator and I have realised that it takes strength and courage to ask for help.
- I was given an opportunity to work on myself – post divorce, I was so determined to heal and create happiness for myself, that I sought the assistance of a therapist and many life coaches. I was given the gift of working on myself, which I probably would not have done, had I not been presented with the crisis of a divorce.
- I am not scared of adversity – through my divorce and the shattering of the fairytale-illusion of my life, I realised that I was able to cope with some incredibly tough times…..and come out the other side. I now know that I am equipped to deal with whatever life presents to me, however tough it may be.
- Through experiencing my own pain, I developed a deeper empathy for others experiencing pain.
- I realised that nothing is forever and “this too shall pass”. Experiencing my heartwrenching and soul-destroying divorce and emerging as a healed and happy human being gave me a renewed appreciation for the truth that everything passes. It also gave me a new perspective that allowed me to savour and appreciate good and happy times as these too are not permanent.
- My divorce allowed me to live a life filled with meaning, each day. Through my divorce, I have always helped other women in similar situations. This has flavoured my life with an added dimension of purpose and meaning.
Sometimes, when we are in the thick of pain and darkness, the gifts are not apparent. I feel so priviledged that I am able to see the gifts in my initially terrible situation. My wish for all of you is to be able to see and receive the gifts that are given to you, even during difficult times.