The weirdest thing seems to be happening to me since the start of my separation- I walk into places and people pretend that they have no clue who I am. Have they forgotten I was at their engagement party… and then their wedding? Maybe a mind slip that I attended their child’s birthday party?
And the worst part about this sudden amnesia is that these people somehow make me feel that I have done something wrong!
Are the only women who are entitled to leave their marriages the ones who find out that their husbands were unfaithful? Is this the only time women going through a divorce get support out there? What about the rest of us? Maybe my husband was unfaithful ( who knows, who cares!)
So because the outside world doesn’t know the details as to why I decided to leave my marriage, I take it they just assume I couldn’t “stick it out anymore”, I didn’t “have it in me” or maybe I wasn’t “dedicated” enough. They don’t know that I endured years of abuse because loyalty is one of my biggest assets ( and flaws).
Jeez, no one wanted (prayed) for my marriage to work more than I did. Not only for me, but mostly for my 2 babies.
So yes, I decided to leave one day. Why? I realized my kids never stood a chance in that house. My daughter would never have learnt how she deserved to be treated as a women, and my son would never have learnt how to treat a women and most importantly neither of them would have learnt that they are entitled to happiness. Don’t they say kids learn more by our actions than our words? I took action, I asked for a divorce. My kids never need to know about the detail of what went on in the home but by me taking action, I have shown my kids that certain behaviour is not acceptable.
Yes, I decided to leave. I decided to survive. It was my only option in the end.
So to all you Amnesia-sufferers out there- I am not contagious. By suddenly remembering that you do indeed know me won’t bring divorce into your life my dear. I am not looking to lure your husbands either now that I am “alone”- believe it or not, the thought of another man nauseates me (I’m still trying to get rid of the one I married).
Every single day I am fighting a WAR- for myself and for my kids. And no- I am not a victim. I am a WARRIOR.
So next time you see me, you have a choice- you can pretend you don’t know me or you can ask to have a playdate xx