I am well aware of the controversial nature of this piece. I am also aware of the high emotion and sensitivity around infidelity. This piece is meant to give perspective on infidelity “from the other side”. Through my divorce coaching work, I have had extensive experience in dealing with both men and women who have been cheated on. What is …
Digesting a divorce and picking up the pieces by Beverley Marcus (Clinical Psychologist)
“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you” Maya Angelou How does one begin to digest a divorce, to pick up the pieces and bear the unbearable? Divorce changes the way in which we construct our world. It turns a believed to be solid ground into sinking sand, until you realize that the ground was never …
Top tips for divorce survival
Consciously choose happiness. Write it out on a big piece of paper and stick it where you will notice it. Today I choose happiness. Try and do at least one thing each day that makes you happy. Listen to an upbeat song, dance, read, go for a brisk walk, cuddle your children. You choose. Make an active choice to choose …
Who holds you? by Bianca Hansen-Hamburger (Counselling Psychologist)
When navigating separation or divorce one is usually offered a range of practical advice; how long it will take to get divorced, how much it costs to get divorced, asset division, statistics on divorce, never mind the plethora of advice and statistics offered up on the impact of divorce on children. However, when trying to unravel ones own knot of …
A story with a happy ending
My ex husband and I were college sweethearts – I was 18 and he was 20. We shared greasy donuts on the lawns outside the library at university. We were friends before we were an item. There was no “official” first date that I can remember. We simply evolved into an “us”. 12 years later we were ex spouses. The …
A New Chapter of Divorce
A divorce happens when one or both people in a marriage feel that the marriage is no longer beneficial, supportive or loving. It can be traumatic and sudden, like when someone is found to be having an affair, or it can seem like a natural choice after years of quiet dissatisfaction. The people involved may find it devastating or it …
Divorced, single and ready to mingle? 7 Tips for successful dating by Leandie Buys
So often I hear women say, “are there still good men out there?” “Are all the good guys are taken?”, “Where do you meet decent guys these days?” These are just some of the questions I get asked. With the help of technology, the dating pool has greatly increased in size, but with that comes a number of problems! We …
Dealing with infidelity and its effect on a relationship From “Seasons of Sex” by Leandie Buys
Not only does an affair have a devastating effect on a marriage, but it also affects the emotional, physical and psychological health of everyone involved. Affairs bring out emotions like anger, denial, grief, resentment and lead to a loss of self-esteem. If you have been the victim or instigator of an affair, remember, you are not alone! There are always …
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